After publishing his ‘plan for a better Brexit’ in the Telegraph comedian Patrick Kielty felt incensed to give the politician a lesson on the Irish border.
Kielty, who lost his father in a shooting during the troubles in 1988, explained why Johnson’s ‘monumental ignorance’ risk tearing apart the United Kingdom.
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The television personality, from County Down in Northern Ireland, messaged the former foreign secretary in a series of late night tweets.
‘Dear Boris Johnson, there is no better Brexit when it comes to the Good Friday Agreement and Northern Ireland. As you still seem bamboozled by all this Paddywackery here’s a few pointers for your next stab in the dark.’
He proceeded to list twenty points simplifying the issue in the hope that Johnson would finally understand what the Brexiteers’ are unleashing by ignoring the border issue.
He explained: ‘Your Brexit lies have opened a Pandora’s box for Northern Ireland. It’s one of the reasons why the majority of people in NI voted to remain in the EU (almost as if they knew more about the fragile equilibrium of their politics than you’.
‘Barely mentioned before Brexit, a border poll is now inevitable thanks to your monumental ignorance.
‘When that poll is eventually held the Nationalists who were once content being part of a Northern Ireland within the UK and EU will vote to leave the UK to feel as Irish and European as they did before Brexit.
‘The poll will be much closer thanks to your Brexit folly and could easily be lost by Unionists, breaking up the UK.’
Dear @BorisJohnson,
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
There is no better Brexit when it comes to the Good Friday Agreement and Northern Ireland. As you still seem bamboozled by all this Paddywackery here's a few pointers for your next stab in the dark - https://t.co/3E0T9MKm28
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He ended his Twitter thread by making a barbed reference to the Leave campaigner’s naked ambition, and throwing in a Danny Dyer reference to former prime minister David Cameron.
‘If there’s any justice all this will come to pass when you’re prime minister so you can finally swim in the constitutional sewage you’ve created (though we all know you’ll be in Nice with your trotters up).’
Johnson isn’t the only politician to ignore the Irish border issue – the European Research Group politician Nadine Dorries recently claimed that the problem ‘doesn’t exist’.
At the time of writing Boris had chosen not to respond to Kielty.
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1. Northern Ireland is made up of a majority of Unionists (as in the Conservative and Unionist Party) and, believe it or not, a rather large minority of Nationalists (as in Irish Nationalists)
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
2. These Irish Nationalists don't see themselves as British but rather inconveniently as Irish (who knew?)
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
3. For over 30 years we killed each other because of these differences which means Northern Ireland is nothing like Camden or Westminster.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
4. The Good Friday Agreement ended that violence by the following devious magic -
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
Unionists were guaranteed that Northern Ireland would be part of the UK until the majority voted otherwise.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
The Irish was border was removed and the island linked so Nationalists could pretend they were already living in a United Ireland (yes, Tony Blair did slight of hand much better than you)
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
5. Some of these Nationalists then accepted being part of the UK as their day to day lives were essentially Irish.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
6. This cunning plan was sold to us on the basis that we were all part of the EU therefore fixation on nationality was so last World War.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
7. Implementing the Good Friday Agreement was torturous (think Brexit with actual bombs, not metaphorical suicide vests) but we finally made peace. Yet 20 years later NI remains a divided society.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
8. Thanks to your glorious Brexit vision Northern Ireland will become more divided as some form of economic border checks will become part of daily lives.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
9. If those checks take place between NI and Ireland, the Nationalists who were once happy being part of the UK will change their mind.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
10. If they take place in the Irish Sea some Unionists will be livid. However they'll still support being part of the UK (the clue is in the Unionist bit)
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
11. Your Brexit lies have opened a Pandora's box for Northern Ireland. It's one reason why the majority of people in NI voted to remain in the EU (almost as if they knew more about the fragile equilibrium of their politics than you)
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
12. Barely mentioned before Brexit, a border poll is now inevitable thanks to your monumental ignorance.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
13. When that poll is eventually held the Nationalists who were once content being part of a Northern Ireland within the UK and EU will vote to leave the UK to feel as Irish and European as they did before Brexit.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
14. The poll will be much closer thanks to your Brexit folly and could easily be lost by Unionists, breaking up the UK.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
15. Any break up of the Union will be your fault (a tad inconvenient as a member of the Conservative and er, Unionist party)
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
16. The EU is not responsible for your blundering lack of foresight. Like most people in Northern Ireland they were happy with the status quo.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
17. By the time the penny drops that you can't preserve the Union you want without the one you don't, it will be too late.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
18. You will be remembered not as the Churchillian visionary you delude yourself to be but the ignoramus who triggered the break up of the UK.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
19. If there's any justice all this will come to pass when you're Prime Minister so you can finally swim in the constitutional sewage you've created (though we all know you'll be in Nice with your trotters up)
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
20. Meantime, if you're so concerned about keeping Northern Ireland totally aligned with the rest of the UK where's your support for our same sex marriage and women's right to choose? Your silence is deafening.
— Patrick Kielty (@PatricKielty) September 28, 2018
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