Who’s on the BBC’s Question Time tonight?

Who? Transport secretary

Brought back into frontline politics by Boris Johnson after being humiliatingly demoted from the cabinet by David Cameron in 2015, Shapps is best known for living a double life as an internet marketing salesman called Michael Green while he was an MP, something he described as a ‘joke’ or ‘normal’, which it is most definitely is, obviously. As Johnson’s transport secretary he was expected to be tasked with kicking issues like HS2 and Heathrow expansion down the road for the next decade. Instead found himself the patsy sent out to distract the public’s attention in the initial days of the Dominic Cummings sightseeing scandal with a promise for free bicycle puncture repair kits.

Alison McGovern

Who? Shadow sport minister

Former parliamentary private secretary to Gordon Brown and a shadow minister under Ed Miliband, McGovern moved to the backbenches after Jeremy Corbyn’s election as leader. Went on to chair Progress, which is either a pamphlet-peddling progressive think-tank or a far-right group of militaristic hedge fund managers little different to the BNP, depending on whether or not you’re a Corbynista. Brought back on to the frontbench by Keir Starmer to shadow sport, she is a keen footballer and player for the UK Women’s Parliamentary Club who got yellow carded by John Bercow two years ago for staging a kickabout in the Commons Chamber. Has been one of the leading voices calling for sports clubs to be saved while the Tories focus on grouse shooting.

David Linden

Who? SNP MP for Glasgow East

Little-known SNP MP whose Wikipedia entry, at 292 words, is 935 shorter than little-remembered 1980s Children’s ITV programme T-Bag, Linden was first elected to the Commons in 2017. A former apprentice at Glasgow City Council, he led the youth wing of the SNP, the prosaically titled SNP Youth. A big campaigner on independence, he has been calling on the UK government to make public its private polling on the matter saying it’s “quite clear they are doing private polling on Scottish independence but don’t want to admit it, presumably because the results are so embarrassingly bad for Whitehall”. This week’s person you have forgotten was on it as soon as it ends.

Helen Stokes-Lampard

Who? Chair of the Academy of Medical Royal Colleges

Doctor, combination of England’s best all-rounder and midfielder of recent times and this week’s token Person Who Might Actually Know What They’re Talking About. Swansea-born, she has been named among the most powerful GPs in the country by medical magazine Pulse and among the most influential people in health by Health Service Journal. Has branded the current coronavirus testing as a “debacle” and “intensely frustrating”. Sounds like she might be challenging – Grant Shapps better bring along a few of those distracting puncture repair kits just in case.

Stuart Rose

Who? Conservative peer and businessman

The second Tory on tonight’s panel, which should go down well on Twitter, Rose is a former executive chairman of Marks & Spencer, at the helm of Britain’s favourite peddler of slacks and caterpillar-shaped tooth rot for seven years. A Conservative peer, he was chair of Britain Stronger In Europe, the official Remain campaign in the EU referendum, a job he started strongly: in an early interview he appeared not to know its name, telling Sky News it was variously “Stay in Britain, Better in Britain” and “Better in Britain campaign, Better Stay in Britain”. Things went downhill from there. Has been a vocal voice in getting workers back into workplaces despite having had the virus himself and likening it to being hit by a bus.

Question Time is on BBC One at 10.45pm tonight (11.25pm in Northern Ireland)