Satire

The food industry is predicting a nightmare for British customers, with price rises and empty shelves caused by Brexit It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain as customers digest mixed news about Brexit’s impact on food. The downside is that your weekly shop is going to cost more; the […]

Andrew Neil has launched a new channel, GB News. Now, comedian Mitch Benn is starting his own network for middle-aged, straight, balding white men… MB NEWS IS HERE! Hello, good evening/morning/afternoon and welcome to the exciting launch of my very own news channel, MB NEWS! Yes, like 52% of the GREAT BRITISH PUBLIC (give or […]

Farmers in Kent and Fife say their soft fruit crops may go unpicked because of a lack of seasonal workers from the EU post-Brexit It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain – not only in Cornwall, where a just-married couple’s party was ruined when the guests complained about the […]

Comedian Mitch Benn looks at Donald Trump’s seemingly backwards trousers, Tim Martin’s demand for more EU migrants and Michael Gove’s trip to Portugal “LEOPARDS EATING PEOPLE’S FACES” MOMENT OF THE WEEKTim Martin, arch-Brexiteer, boss of the Wetherspoons McPub empire and Worzel Gummidge’s Angry Head, has been bemoaning the fact that the staff he told to […]

Problems are mounting for thousands of Britons in Spain and the rest of Europe who chose not to apply for residency after Brexit It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain… and also in the parts of Europe where UK ex-pats (because people are only called ‘migrants’ when they don’t […]

Prime minister Boris Johnson made an honest – or at least an honestly mistaken – woman of the nation’s erstwhile first side-chick Ms. Carrie Symonds ACT OF WEAPONS-GRADE OPTIMISM OF THE WEEK In perhaps the most startling, last minute of stoppage-time victory ever scored by hope over experience, our beloved leader Boris Johnson finally made […]

It has been another gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain – although sadly not gloomy enough for residents of Ashford, Kent. After voting 59.4% to Leave in the referendum, Ashfordians have been rewarded with a light show. Alas, rather than fireworks celebrating our independence from the EU, the nightly display comes from […]

Mitch Benn rounds up the worst of another week in politics, including Priti Patel, Grant Shapps and Ivanka Trump

It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain as our willingness to roll over for a trade deal with Australia confirms that the government does not give a XXXX about its own farmers. Despite complaints from that flaming galah George Eustice, trade secretary Liz ‘one stubbie short of a six-pack’ Truss […]

Health secretary Matt Hancock has released a video in which he is standing in front of an existing hospital and calls it “one of 40 new hospitals we’re going to build” VIOLATION OF THE LAWS OF PHYSICS OF THE WEEK A few days ago, health secretary Matt Hancock released a video in which he is […]

Britain finds itself on a collision course with France over fishing and access to the EU single market as forms and fees on UK visits to friends and family in France begin to bite It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain as various Brexit chickens continue to come home […]

Will Laurence Fox end up with a radio job after the London mayoral elections? BITTER BLOW OF THE WEEK Like many of you, I’m sure, I have spent the last few days trying to recover from what must surely be the most savage disappointment ever to be inflicted upon the progressive caucus in this country. […]

The sound of us Remainers crying over spilled milk has been replaced by everyone crying over unsold milk It has been another gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain. The dairy industry has been among the biggest losers of Brexit so far, with milk and cream exports to the EU down 96.4% year […]

Britain is facing a post-Brexit “exodus of EU waiters and baristas” with “prospective foreign workers are shunning the UK because of tighter visa rules and higher entry costs post-Brexit.” It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain, as reaction to the Line Of Duty finale reminds us of another long-running […]

The new royal yacht named after Prince Philip is a waste of £200 million, says MITCH BENN. “SERIOUSLY GUYS, READ THE ROOM” MOMENT OF THE WEEK  This week brought the news our beleaguered nation has been waiting to hear. Yes, we are still fighting our way out from underneath the virus; yes, our economy is […]

Set in a Britain with zero-Covid and corruption is punished, is this why we love Line of Duty? SUDDEN EPIPHANY OF THE WEEK On Sunday night I was (like, apparently, 80% of the population of the United Kingdom) watching Line of Duty on BBC 1, when I had a sudden realisation: Line of Duty takes […]

The scandals surrounding Boris Johnson hide the disaster that Brexit has created It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain as companies continue to pay dearly for two basic yet common business mistakes – not putting a Cabinet minister’s sister on the board or having Boris Johnson’s mobile phone number. […]

Mitch Benn told Labour leader Keir Starmer to be a little less stiff – but getting thrown out of a pub is taking matters too far… GEAR SHIFT OF THE WEEK Sir Keir Starmer, about whom, you may recall, I was complaining last week; specifically about how he’s taking so subtle and reserved an approach […]

It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain… unless, of course, you’re an irony lover who enjoyed Boris Johnson explaining why English football clubs were wrong to want to leave an established, successful European set-up on the vague promise of more riches elsewhere. Boris might not have followed that thought […]

Former Conservative politician Alan Duncan’s new memoir In The Thick Of It contains much criticism of Boris Johnson – but why didn’t he say this earlier? “NOW YOU TELL US” OF THE WEEK Former Conservative politician Alan Duncan, whose new memoir In The Thick Of It (can’t imagine where he came up with that title) […]

It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain, as the only export that appears to be booming post-Brexit is the glut of UK companies rushing to set up in the EU. The government’s botched trade deal has left firms with two options: Relocation or red tape and regulations that will […]

Jacob-Rees Mogg, Boris Johnson and Matt Gaetz are in the firing line as comedian Mitch Benn hands out another set of his weekly awards. MASSIVE BRASS ONES OF THE WEEK …were to be found clanking away beneath the oddly-cut pinstripes of Britain’s Best Christian, Jacob Rees Mogg.  He welcomed the dawn on Easter Sunday by, […]

The slow comeback of normal life is wonderful, it does tend to feel as hollow as a leftover Easter egg when also coming back rapidly is tension in Belfast and Derry. “It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain,” is how this column starts every week, but how can that […]

Welcome to the 2021 Maskies! Yes folks, commemorating 12 months of lockdown, it’s the first – and oh please dear God ONLY – annual Maskies Awards, in which we celebrate those who’ve made the job of being a satirist just that little bit easier over the course of this last plague-ridden year.  THE ‘SNAP YOURSELF […]

It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain, where trade and vaccine squabbles with the EU are threatening to overwhelm our nation’s jab euphoria. Exactly what might have made the Europeans so suspicious of the lie-telling, law-breaking, flag-hugging UK will remain a mystery, but while Boris Johnson and David Frost […]

Brexit minister David Frost gets it wrong about the causes of January’s huge drops in trade with the EU It has been a gloomy week on the sunlit uplands of sovereign Britain, where our first month of post-transition trading as a fully independent nation played out like a particularly tragic episode of Danny Dyer’s pachinko-styled BBC […]

Which minister’s mate charged the government £2.6million for the new No.10 Downing Street press briefing room, asks Mitch Benn as he hands out political awards to Boris Johnson and Priti Patel Hello and welcome to this, the first of my columns to be 100% compliant with the terms of the Police, Crime, Sentencing and Courts […]

Comedian Mitch Benn hands out his alternative awards of another week in politics… REPEAT OFFENDER OF THE WEEK Rishi Sunak, who followed up last week’s excruciating “I’m just a guy, standing in front of a country, commending my budget to the House” video with an equally bizarre sequel in which he was interviewed by a […]